My Immortal
by Orcagirl2001
Summary: SPOILER WARNING! This is a songfic which expresses Battousai's grief of the tragety that occured in his past. It is based on the events of "Trust and Betrayal." Please Read and Review! This is my second songfic!


A/N:  
  
This song is so over-used but I had to write a fic for it.  
  
SPOILER WARNING! This is based on the story of Kenshin's past, the "Trust and Betrayal" saga. I'm not really a Kenshin / Tomoe fan, but the sorrow of their story is so moving that I couldn't help but write about it. It pained me to learn about what Kenshin went through all those years ago and how it's scarred not only his face, but his heart as well.  
  
Please no flames, but reviews are acceptable by all means!

My ImmortalIt was late afternoon in Kyoto; winter's chill lingered in the soft wind blowing down from the heights. A flurry of tiny snowflakes whirled about the towering pagodas and caressed the bare branches of the plum trees. A few inches of melting snow and ice covered the cobblestones that led into a small cemetery in the center of the city. White frost hung from the edge of the rooftop of a shrine, and wind chimes danced in the song of the coming spring. All seemed gay and pleasant, a sparkling wonderland of black and white and gold. To one, however, all was not so grand.  
  
Sitting amidst the snow-covered tombstones, was a young man, solemn as the willow after a rainstorm, quietly staring at a newly dug grave. His head hung low over his chest, scarlet locks spilling over his shoulders. Silver tears flowed from his eyes, half gold as the sunlight and half drenched with a gloomy violet sorrow. The icy droplets fell onto the petals of a bouquet of newly opened plum blossoms, bright as sunlit clouds gliding overhead. Though the faces of the flowers sang with joy, the countenance of the young man was deeply grieved.

_I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone_

__

__

  
He raised a hand and wiped the tears that were beginning to freeze upon his face, brushing his fingers against the thick bandage clinging to his left cheek. He winced in pain. Hand lingering, a pitiful sigh escaped through his trembling lips, as memories flooded his thoughts, that of a fateful day in which his heart was taken.  
  
Agonized by the reminiscences, he clenched his right hand around the flowers, crushing their delicate stems. The branch snapped slightly, the white faces falling, fading, and dying. Sadly, the young man stroked their wilting petals and breathed their magical aroma. It was the same...exactly the same...  
  
Everything reminded him of her: the clouds hovering high in the azure heavens, the tinkling sound of the wind chimes, the glowing radiance of the flowers, and the scent of plum blossoms that hung in the air. It seemed as if her spirit was with him, haunting him constantly, making the agonizing guilt well up in his heart again and again, until he could bear no more and would cry out in turmoil.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me_

__

__

  
Her face came into his thoughts, radiant and wondrous, a cool beauty as quiet and serene as a glassy lake. Her eyes, black pearls that glimmered in the moonlight, her skin soft as dove down, milky white and smooth. Glossy black tresses cascaded around her face, framing the glorious lady that she was. Gentle hands, her whispering voice singing melodies of joyful days and hushed nights, lips warm and sweet as the nectar of the flowers that he held dying in his hands. She had died there...on that day...

_You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

His heart skipped, and he felt it would tear asunder. It was his by his hand that she fell, bleeding and gasping for life's breath, her soul slowly fading away. Staring at his hands, he remembered her blood, covering the white snow, warm and thick with life...her life...It was there, all there, right before his eyes he held her life in his hands, but at the same time he was losing her. Her heart was shattered, her voice barely above a whisper. She told him not to cry, she told him things would be all right. Then...  
  
A slender hand, armed with a small silvery dagger, rose and caressed his left cheek; slicing into his skin, warm blood trickling from the horrid wound that had become a cross-shaped scar. Her eyes sparkled for one last time, then faded into nothingness.  
  
How that moment haunted him...

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase__   
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me_

  
  
The tears sprang forth anew, thick with sorrow and he sobbed into the wind. Cupping his hands over his face, he wept bitterly at his loss and the pain he felt for causing it. The hard edge of his sword brushed against his thigh, mocking his fighting spirit and stabbing at his guilt. Angrily, he drew it off his belt and tossed it across the courtyard, a loud ping echoing off the shrine walls as it landed in the rock garden. That sword was poisoned with murder and grief; it bore the blood of his loved one. He would never use it again.  
  
It was nearly impossible to believe she was gone, but the truth was plainly in front of him, there in that graveyard. The freshly carved tombstone, with the name of his lover etched upon it. It was so clear, yet his anguish blinded him and his heart begged him not to forget. How could he forget? The way she had helped him control his blood lust, how she had sheathed his sword of hatred. They had lived a peaceful life, one that his wished would have lasted forever...but it was not meant to be. It was only a memory, which faded and left him alone in the bitter and harsh winds of life. It was enough to destroy his soul.  
  
Desperate for the pain to escape, he grasped hold of the bandages and ripped them clean off his face, letting the wounds bleed, letting the pain carve into his heart. Crying out into the wind, he uttered her name and the anguished love that had died before its time. He swore with his own blood that neither his hand, nor anyone else's, would never again do such a terrible act, so long as he was alive. No longer would he allow such horrors to plague his mind. No longer could he stand the pain...

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
And though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
_

Within moments, he had no more to give. Every ounce of power had gone out of him, leaving a broken heart and an empty soul. The flowers that lay frozen in his hands were now stained crimson with his blood. He stroked their blushing faces once more and laid them on the grave. Trembling, he rose and stood before the grave, feeling the hot blood flowing down his throat.  
  
_These wounds will never heal...this memory will never fade...you are in my soul...forever tormenting me...until the day I die. Forgive me, though I am guilty to death...for I shall live out my sentence by preventing such sorrow from ever happening again. My love...I am sorry...  
_  
He turned away, trying to fight the tears that brimmed in his eyes again. Suddenly, a chilly wind blew against him, and a ghostly hand lay across his shoulder. Her touch, the scent of plums...she was there, comforting him, forgiving his great error and vowing to be forever at his side. The tears faded, and he felt somewhat renewed. The bleeding had stopped, and his heart filled with her warmth and love. He glanced back at the grave once more.  
  
_Farewell...Tomoe...  
_  
Leaving the cemetery, he vanished into the mist, and in his wake the bare branches of the plum trees bloomed.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me_

Owari 


End file.
